Rocket Science

When I was a kid, junior high, I think, we all had to take some sort of skills test. I found the test to be very easy and found out why shortly after. I was called into the counselor’s office when the results arrived, and he told me I had scored in the top 1% of every category. He looked at me in a different way this visit, you see, I had been to the counselors office before, but always to be chastised for being a trouble maker. He asked me if I knew I was brilliant, and I laughed. No, I never thought that, I did notice that there were a lot of stupid people though!
Ever since, I have reflected on how people think, why they do the things they do, and to a lesser degree, if I really am smart or not. A few years ago, I took a MENSA test just for fun, and I did not do very well. That might indicate that I am not the genius I think I am, or perhaps that my genius is not one that shows up in that sort of test. Either way, I am constantly disappointed in how dumb a lot of people are, so I was very excited to learn that I was going to have dinner with an actual NASA rocket scientist. What lively conversation we will have! It will be great.
This guy was the father of a relative of somebody else’s friend and this would probably be the only time I would meet him. We all went out to dinner and said our howdedoos,
I noticed he was putting down the drinks pretty fast. Then I noticed his hand on my girlfriend’s ass while we were at the salad bar. I didn’t know rocket scientists were lecherous, but it’s all just part of the learning experience, I guess. We never did seem to get past the small talk, and I kept waiting for an opportunity to ask him about black hole theory or something, but he had many drinks in him by now. All of a sudden he looks at me and says “why don’t you get a job?” This seemed odd, since I had a job. I told him so. Then he says “why don’t you get a haircut?” I told him because I already had a job, so I didn’t need a haircut to get one. I noticed his daughter had her head in her hands and realized this was not the first time he had made a fool of himself in public. While he was rambling on about goddamn hippies or some such thing, I thought about starting some debate with him, a conversation I would obviously control, but what would be the point. Everyone at the table could see he was a loser, no need to point that out, and a battle of wits with an unarmed opponent isn’t much fun.