Old and in the way

A few meetings ago, someone referred to Joe K. and I as the “old guys”. I didn’t put much thought into it, but Joe seemed quite annoyed. Joe is certainly over the hill, but I started to wonder, am I really old?
If you are as old as you feel, I feel old, but most of the other tell tale signs of old age seem inconclusive, so I figured you could all help me determine the truth.
Please circle the appropriate answers for the following questions and then bring the results to the next event.

1. I hate Rap music and generally speaking cars with subwoofers that rattle his/her windows. But I still like to crank up the volume when it is the music I like, old rock like Ted Nugent, Blue Oyster Cult, Montrose, or AC/DC.

A) Old as Dirt B) Time to Grow up C) Who are Those Bands?

2. I drive a giant station wagon that only geezers envy, but I am building a Police Package clone, and it hauls A$$.

A) Old as Dirt B) Time to Grow up C) You’re Delusional

3. Once I notice anything pierced on an attractive woman, it’s all over for me.

A) Old as Dirt B) Time to Grow up C) More than I Needed to Know.

4. I have lived in a house with an outhouse, still have vinyl records, and can dial a rotary phone.

A) Old as Dirt B) Time to Grow up C) What’s an Outhouse?

5) I am one of those people who have a little dog they treat like a child, but my dog rides on my kayak, does agility courses, and will rip your clothes off if you come in my yard when I’m gone.

A) Old as Dirt B) Time to Grow up C) You need a woman.