I am fascinated by the modern phenomenon of road rage. It seems that everyone I talk to has experienced it, except for a few people. The ironic part is, the people who don’t get road rage are the ones who are simply oblivious to what is happening around them, and they are the ones who are giving it to the rest of us. The Typhoid Marys of our era, spreading the affliction to others.
The other source of road rage is the person who drives too aggressively, and acts in a way they never would were the interaction face to face.
I got the rage a couple months ago from a pizza boy in a big hurry. After he jammed his brakes on in front of me to show me that I was in his way, despite my already going 10 over the limit, I followed him to where he works. I realized 2 things right away. He clearly thinks there will be no consequence from enraging other drivers, since he was not concerned about me knowing where he works, and he has never had reason to worry about consequence. Secondly, when people say “I want to teach him a lesson”, they really mean that they want revenge. I thought and thought, but could come up with no way to actually teach him a lesson, although I thought of many ways to get revenge. I realized that nothing short of a near death experience would make him change his ways, so maybe that should be arranged.
I also thought about the many reasons he should have picked someone other than me to play games with. Most people are encumbered with an overwhelming fear of damaging their vehicle; I do not suffer from this restriction. Most people have little experience with what kind of damage a car can take and still keep running. Most people do not really understand the dynamics of cars at speed. Most people have no experience intentionally running into another car. My car is bigger, faster, and much more durable than his.
Therefore, I think it fair to warn pizza boy and others that I plan to now take my revenge first, and let the lessons happen as they may. Since you can never tell what I may be driving, perhaps everyone should just be more cautious with every car they encounter.
Here are some suggestions to ensure you do not find yourself upside down in the ditch:
Do not pull out in front of me and then go less then the speed limit.
Do not drive in the left lane if you are only going 1 mph more than the right lane.
Do not pull onto the freeway without even looking and expect me to make room for you.
Do not follow me too closely.
Do not honk at me, ever.
I am sure you can think of a few more rules to allow us to all get along, add those to my list, tape it to your dash, and remember; the bruises you prevent may be your own.
2 comments:
OK, you are a psycho. (Or this "character" is.) ;) Not that psychosis makes for bad subject matter, but I think you might rewrite this in three ways to make it more effective:
1. You don't describe the pizza guy's aggressive behaviors, other than flashing his brake lights in front of you (so what?). His behaviors would frame the revenge fantasy better. We don't know if he is really an ass, or if you just think he's an ass.
2. The stalking and revenge stuff IS creepy, but the basic thought (lesson vs. revenge) is interesting. But, there isn't enough detail here to really get where you would draw the line between the two.
3. The final premise, that a bigger vehicle deserves more respect than a small vehicle, is of course both incrediblly psychotic and thoroughly American. (If you were trying to write a sympathetic portrayal of road rage you'd write as a bicyclist or pedestrian, and of course the "rules" would be completely different.) Sympathy isn't your intent, though, right? So, describe your big vehicle in loving detail, engine size, total weight, etc, and then slur the tiny people who would dare block your way in their girly man vehicles.
Hello... I am a school mate of of a friend of yours, he goes by the Jay... he sent us to your blog. I did as I was told. I read your "Road Rage" blog...I enjoyed it very much. I shall be reading more of your blogs, so please continue writing.
Sincerely safe driver, most of the time, Liz
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